ok

i'm more sane now.

conclusion: sch and work are very different

passive --> initiative
competitiveness --> focus on own progress

-end-

damn stressed

AHHHHH!!!!!!

it's my life....it is now or never!!!!
i ain't gonna live forever!!!!!!

my heart is like an open highway!!!!!!


IT'S MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!

damn stressed abt job performance, abt taking very very long to do the assigned work, abt not being efficient.....abt not being initiative enough, abt not learning fast enough, not being a gd worker, not being assigned work coz boss thinks i'm no gd or some shit like that!!

ahhhhhh.................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yet another dream

for the past wk or so, i have been dreaming abt making disastrous mistakes at work, or airplanes crashing in different ways (ie. nosedive and crash into ground, bouncing while landing and eventually transforming into a heap of ash, etc). last night i had a break finally, from all these (bad) aviation dreams.

my dream:
my father rented a chalet with a few frens, and everyone brought their families along. [we did something like that in real life. we used to go on tours to malaysia as a group, and it was really fun.]
the chalet was a simple room, with one queen size bed and 2 single mattresses on the floor. the 2 singles looked like they were additional. there wasn't much floor space left, and everyone squeezed onto the beds at night. it was very cramped. (much like the hotel rm in orchard mandarin, on rgs prom night)
we checked out early the next morning, and the next thing that happened is a frequent event in my dreams. while in dreamland chalet, i had a sudden urge to find a washroom.[no prizes for guessing why]. there was a wooden door in the room, which i had assumed it was the connecting door to the neighbouring unit, and was locked.
i pivoted and observed my room again. darn, no toilet door.
out of sheer desparation and a "wrong also never mind" mentality, i twisted the door knob of that wooden door. to my surprise, the door opened, revealing a big and spacious room. then it suddenly dawned upon me that this was part of the chalet that we had rented, and we had all assumed it was simply a locked connecting door. none of us tried to open the door, and so we have missed using this big 2nd room.
i saw the big bed, and the clean fresh white bedsheets covering it. i wanted to throw myself onto the bed and have a nice long nap, but alas, it was time to check out!!

i didnt wake up immediately, but when i did, i thought abt the dream.
could it be a literal wake-up call? the wooden door could represent some opportunity to a whole new world, but i have been overlooking it because of some presumptions. the new world would be able solve some of my current problems, which i couldnt solve before turning the door knob. and when i finally realise that there IS a world beyond the door, it was too late to enjoy it.
A missed opportunity.

it was a little scary to think of all these. my dreams are usually simple n nonsensical. i dont think i have ever had a dream with such a vivid n obvious msg.

work + drinks

when do u combine work with drinks? when u have a company dinner n dance, of cuz! mine was held last night at plaza park royal hotel (or is it royal park?), and i think i did have a gd time, even though i only had 3 familiar companions at my table. we were seated right in front of the stage, and also right next to the VIP table with the CEO and so on. (we registered late, and so got such "good" seats.)
but it was really a blessing in disguise, coz the atmosphere was much better there than in some remote corner of the 40-table ballroom.

well, at the cocktail part, i had one beer on an empty stomach, no thanks to my boss n fellow trainee, who saw me drinking a tiny sip at a time.
"You hold so long, beer warm already. warm beer not nice to drink." then they both grin at me. ughhh...
(hehe.. actually i didn't really drink on an empty stomach. just before i left the house, i had a ham sandwich coz i would be hungry, and i know it'd be a bad choice to drink with only HCL in ur stomach.)
anyway, we had a 9-course dinner, and i alternated between chinese tea and beer. our table also happened to be next to the waitress' drink station, and our server was very efficient. the moment our drinks level fell to 2/3 full, she appears with the beer jug/chn tea pot and fills it up. so i couldnt really count how much i drank, but i estimated 4 glasses. (uh, also judging by the num of times i went to the washroom)

anyway, it was really fun to dance and shout the whole night, and can see a lot of serious pple change into party animals.(there was this guy at my table who brought his own bottle of scotch whisky....and almost finished it at the end of the nite)

my current hot topic

work work work...

or more specifically, the "human" aspects of work. Here's how i put stress on myself. i don't want anyone to say my relatively poor job performance is overlooked because i am female, or becuz i am on quite gd terms with the boss, etc. hence i got to do my job even better. eh, is it just me or are other females in technical fields also thinking the same way? as in, i feel that the same standards or expectations should be applied to both genders. i'd hate to hear things like, "oh, she girl wat, so wrong also never mind."

i keep feeling that i dont do things gd enough - seems like there are mistakes in almost every piece of work i do, or i do it inefficiently. sighh...

anyway these are random rants. nothing has really happened yet - my mind is just the same old mind: hyperactive and thinking of weird possibilities.

oh, can someone tell me what the book "Freakonomics" is abt? i think jane has prob told me abt it at some time, but i forgot liao. (haha....that's me!). is it a highly-recommended bk?

would u like to take home a bottle of wine?

i got "arrowed" by my manager to represent Rolls Royce at the united world college career fair yesterday. (there goes my saturday). i was dreading it a bit, becuz i didnt know what kind of questions the UWC students would ask, and i really don't know very much abt rolls royce, or the engines. and it'd be disastrous if i couldnt ans a technical question, and my manager were to witness the scene. =P

most of the students asked things like "so what subjects do i have to take, to become an engineer?" they are mostly pre-A levels or the bacculearate thingy, so i just said "You should have a good grounding in Physics and maths, and some chemistry because material knowledge comes in handy too." i also explain to some students how the gas turbine engine works. quite fun la. but some are really....um....blunt.

we have a few types of freebies to give away, and generally if the student shows some interest in an engineering career, we will give away a pen or a mousepad. the "highest level of interest" students will get a navy blue rolls royce cap. (surprisingly, every single person including my british manager called the cap a "hat". i had to correct myself every time i said "cap".) anyway some of them just walked up to the booth and asked, "Can i have one of those hats?" Uh, i had to give one, coz i couldn't very well just say "no, u never ask question, so cannot give u."
one student was amusing. she came up and asked, "How much are u selling those hats for?"

reply: *laugh* we are not selling these hats, but u can have one for free if u like.

not too long ago, i was part of the freebie-collecting brigade, but yesterday i had a taste of being an exhibitor. interesting change of perspective. =P

(uh, but next time i go for career fair, i'll revert back to my more comfy role of freebie-collecting. =P)

when the fair ended and we packed up to leave, one of the organizers came up to us and asked, "Would you like to take home a bottle of wine?"
i was stunned. HUH? take what??
a few seconds later, someone handed me a bag containing a bottle of chardonnay. I stammered a "thank you" and left with my colleagues. WAH! one bottle for each exhibitor, not just for each booth! i left the place, quite impressed by their generosity.

inspired?

it's extremely rare for me to log on during the work week. and it's been a record length of time whereby i have published zero posts.

been thinking abt this particular topic on and off for a couple of days. since the very first day at work, pple have been telling me to "open my eyes and learn as much as i can". "see something i dont know, just ask."
yadda yadda....ok ok. so i got to learn a lot of new things la.
but recently (abt a mth into the job), i realised that this is a new concept to me. thinking back, i don't think i have ever been a positive and enthusiastic learner. it's always been "read chapters 1-10, do practice questions, go for exams".
perhaps somewhere along the way, there have been projects and so on, but i was always concerned with just doing a "good" project. meaning a project which meets the basic requirements, and a bit more. the criteria is to do a certain amt of work, and add on a bit. now, there is no more "minimum level" - knowledge is to infinity, and there isn;t any defining level whereby u can feel comfy n slack off after u have attained it.

immediately, i think of blaming the SG edu system. BUT, as HRM has taught me, blaming the system is a form of learning disability, and will actually hamper my progress. *roll eyes*
well, i dunno what to blame la, system or myself, etc. but it's surprising to suddenly realise i havent been learning properly for the past 20 yrs. (uh 23 yrs also can la. ugh. )

just did my first day of OT. no time off, no pay. just a free cab home if u stay > 7:30pm.